Pope Alien . Commentary

God is punishing Realtors in Florida

2007-06-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

I can never remember.. Is Mammon good or evil?

The Real Estate Prayer Luncheon was organized in hopes of breathing life and positive thinking into the area’s slumping housing market.

It was the first of what the organizers — co-owner of Crye Leike Coastal Realty Wanda Duke, former Destin City Councilman Mel Ponder and Destiny Worship Center Pastor Steve Vaggalis — hope will become a regular, uplifting event.

Full story in the Northwest Florida Daily News.

High tech automobile

2006-12-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

Now this is a car! This hatchback is one of those things you see walking down the street that makes you glad you have a camera in your pocket. The entire outside of the car is covered in old motherboards, chips, ISA cards, you name it, and then everything is painted a matte battleship grey.

complaints

2006-12-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

I'm back yo! and in full-effect. Time to rock the house shoe. This weeks comic is called 'complaints' and its in a different style than most of the others. Quite a bit rougher visually, but I enjoy the process and the result so I'll probably be doing some more like this in the future.

Can you imagine how many complaints and unhappy customers you would have to deal with if you were a powerful tyrant? I wonder if it would eventually just bring you down when carefully vicious act after vicious act just brought more and more complaints. You know what they say: You can't please all the people all of the time.

Also this week: how to keep billionaires from peeping in your window.

What is that thing?

2006-11-21T13:59:00.000-08:00

I love a good mystery. Swapatorium's got a great post about an electro-mechanical mystery bulldog that he found in a box from an estate sale. Can you guess what its purpose might have been?

Hey Apple: What is this 1986?!?

2006-11-20T12:06:00.000-08:00

What's with the Mac TV ads featuring john hodgson as a suit-wearing pc geek vs the hip young Mac? Its like they're reaching way, way back in time to an era when the IBM PC ran DOS on an ascii display and then the Macintosh came along with a (gasp) mouse!

Doesn't everyone know by now that both platforms run the essentially same software at the same speed on the same processors? If you want to lay claim to some sort of unique creative quality based on the computer you used show me the color pallette cycling animations you created on your amiga 500.

How gay do you have to be (in the seventh grade sense of the word) to think that having the same silver box as a thousand other people is going to turn you into a creative genius?

Creativity doesn't come out of a silver, beige or black box, it comes out of your guts: your heart, your brain, and yes, possibly a little bit out of your spleen.

So use whatever tools work best for you, and fuck the image-mongers with their latte-stained turtlenecks typing up ad-copy on their macbook pros.

Salvation Hat

2006-11-20T12:18:00.000-08:00

Just posted a new comic on PopeAlien.com - Salvation hat!

Also an answer to the question: What if blood was flammable?

But who am I trying to kid? This comic hasn't been weekly since I-can't-recall-when. I'm going to try to keep the site updated, but it will no longer be weekly (since it isn't really now anyways). If you'd like to know when I update the site you can subscribe to my notify list. Join the hundreds of happy subscribers already there, and may you have a super-happy day!

this week: how to get rich

2006-09-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

Yep, here it is: how you can go and get yourself so filthy stinking rich that people will fear you. Strike awe into the hearts of your neigbors. Start your own nation. Pave your lawn in gold. This is how to get rich.

Also this week for advice: any ideas? along with how to get a girlfriend for your unattractive friend.

I've also got some plans brewing to make more stickers magnets and pins.. stay tuned.

$400,000 hippo china

2006-09-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need a little something special, something that stands out and says 'this is who I am. And what better way to do it than commisioning a $400,000 custom painted china set featuring images of hippos? What says refined elegance and class better than hippos? From the wall street journal(subscription):

When collector Richard Baron Cohen decided three years ago to commission a historic set of porcelain dinnerware, he sought out a storied producer, Denmark's Royal Copenhagen Porcelain. He selected its most prestigious pattern, a 1790 design created for Catherine the Great. Finally, he enlisted the factory's semiretired master painter to give each one of the 144 pieces its crowning touch -- hippopotami.

Fully readable version with personal viewpoint and no subscription required at jalopyjunktown.

This week on Popealien.com

2006-08-21T22:14:00.000-07:00

This week on PopeAlien.com we've got a guest comic from the sylish and serene Graeme Partridge-David, a man who is not afraid to explore the smell of a bag of souls. We also have an answer to the burning question: "Why does ice-cream taste so good?"

I will wear socks with sandals!

2006-08-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

I will wear socks with sandals.

I will feel the open comfort of sandals blended seamlessly with the embracing warmth of a good pair of socks. I will live wild, fearless and free. The fashion police have no jurisdiction here. I will wear white socks with black sandals and black socks with brown sandals and velcro and rubber and I will be like Jesus with warm toes.

I will draw power from my comfortable feet. I will defy all convention. I will remain steadfast, unwavering and boldly unapologetic in the face of all adversity for I will be comfortable and comfort will be my guiding light.

I will wear SOCKS with SANDALS!

The truth about planet earth.

2006-07-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

Ok. I'm going to tell you the truth now. Are you ready? Planet Earth is only 27 years old.

I know, I know.. You've heard otherwise havent you? Some 'scientists' want us to believe the earth is millions of years old, and some 'men of faith' want us to believe that the earth is six thousand years old, but you know what? They're all liars.

Our earth is only 27 years old.

It's true! I'm sure some of you (particularly those of you older than 27) may be suprised to hear this, and I can understand your reticence to believe, but you've just got to have faith. Are you going to believe carbon? or are you going to believe me? Planet Earth is only 27 years old, and that's Gods honest truth.

So now you know.

Space invaders oriental carpet

2006-07-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

This is an awesome rug.
I want this rug.

Apparently its only a mock-up and there is no real carpet like this, but I must say it is a great mash-up and one I'd love to see in real life.

from here.

My Problem (with starbucks)

2006-07-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

If you knew me, you'd know I'm not a big fan of starbucks. It's not that they're a giant multi-national corporation, or that they grow like a green and grey fungus across the landscape, sometimes 3 to a block, blotting out the sun and making baby jesus cry.

No, its not that at all.

It's all about the strength and flavor (or lack thereof) of their espresso.

It's that their espresso is so goddamn weak I can barely tell its there. It's like coffee for blind baby kittens that need to have their caffiene intake carefully regulated. It's like kiddy-coffee with training wheels and colorful streamers on the handlebars. It's espresso for people that don't like espresso, but want to pretend that they do. It's watery, sad and pathetic and it makes baby jesus cry.

When I get a cup of the black stuff I want to be able to feel it. The cup should be vibrating before I even take the first sip, and when I DO take that first drink it should NOT make me think "..is this tea?" "Has there been some sort of mistake?" "are they making tea in their espresso maker?"

I want strong coffee! Coffee that makes me twitch, coffee that causes my frontal lobes to bang together like those little pendulum ball things you see in a science center gift shop. I want espresso that makes the sun come out and the birds sing german industrial death-metal. I want it all, and I want it now!

That is all.

Files are not for Sharing.

2006-06-20T20:03:00.000-07:00

An emotional and educational look at the whole "file-sharing" issue. I laughed. I cried. It was better than "Cats", I'm going to read it again and again.

Q: What is Sharing?
A: Sharing is when you give something to someone else, Like a cookie or a toy.

Q: What happens when you share?
A: Your friend has a toy and a cookie, while you have nothing.

Q: What have we learned?
A: Never share.

Files are not for Sharing is an excellent illustrated "edutaining" ebook created by Matthew Baldwin of DefectiveYeti and Super-web-cartoonist Goopymart of Goopymart fame.

dirty robots 'do it'

2006-06-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

Because I know that even though you're supposed to be doing research for an important project online, what you really want to do is see a video of sexed robots 'doing it'.

ok.

here you go.

Blasphemous Bandstand: mp3 playlist - good music for bad people

2006-05-26T22:31:00.000-07:00

Years back there used to be thing called cassette tapes that enabled you to record sounds and replay them or give them to friends. This led to a explosion of musical piracy that very nearly destroyed the record industry. Fortunately audio cassette recorders were outlawed in 1983 and those found in possession of this illegal equipment are fined enormous sums and the music industry has survived and prospered, creating jobs for many hard-working people and enabling Bryan Adams to purchase a full-scale solid gold replica of the Empire state building. So everything was perfectly as it should be for several years until computers came along and ruined everything.

Anyways, my point is this: in the short time that cassette recorder technology was legal and available to the public at large a funny thing happened.. Not only did people share music with friends, they took it upon themselves to create custom compilations, sometimes called 'mix tapes' as an expression of their individual taste. Sometimes they were based around a mood or specific type of music, or you might get a mix that was comprised completely of different cover versions of the song 'motherless child' or 'I fought the law'.

Years ago I tossed my collection of hundreds of audio cassettes. Most of the tape had stretched over the years, lowering some of the songs half an octave or adding an bizarre wobble to the chorus. Interesting but not ideal.

But I miss mix tapes, so I've decided to start making MP3 playlists the same way I would make a mix tape or compilation CD.. I figure since these popealiens wear crosses on their heads I might as well start with a religious theme, so here goes:

Blasphemous Bandstand : Good Music for Bad People.

1) Bad Religion - American Jesus
(from the album Recipe for Hate)
2) Morrissey - I have Forgiven Jesus
(from the album You are the Quarry)
3) The Dead Milkmen - I dream of Jesus
(from the album Not Richard, but Dick)
4) XTC - Dear God
(from the album Skylarking)
5) Ministry - Jesus Built my Hot Rod
(from the album Psalm 69)
6) Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia
(from the album American Idiot)
7) Johnny Cash - Personal Jesus
(from the album American IV: The Man Comes Around)
8) King missile - Jesus was Way Cool
(from the album Mystical Shit)
9) Laibach - Jesus Christ Superstar
(from the album Jesus Christ Superstars)
10) The Pogues - If I should fall from Grace with God
(from the album If I should fall from Grace with God)
11) Roger Waters - What God Wants
(from the album Amused to Death)

Gourmet German 'Robin Hoods' give poor a taste of the high life

2006-05-09T12:25:00.000-07:00

Haha.

A GANG of anarchist Robin Hood-style thieves, who dress as superheroes and steal expensive food from exclusive restaurants and delicatessens to give to the poor, are being hunted by police in the German city of Hamburg.

The gang members seemingly take delight in injecting humour into their raids, which rely on sheer numbers and the confusion caused by their presence. After they plundered Kobe beef fillets, champagne and smoked salmon from a gourmet store on the exclusive Elbastrasse, they presented the cashier with a bouquet of flowers before making their getaway.

I'm going to keep my eye out for anarchists dressed as superheroes the next time I'm eating Kobe beef fillets, champagne and smoked salmon, and I suggest you do too.

Article on scotsman.com

Rush Limbaugh will try not to do any more drugs..

2006-04-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh surrendered Friday at the Palm Beach County Jail on a warrant relating to his drug addiction to oxycontin. Story in the seattle times.

Limbaugh was booked, photographed and fingerprinted before being released on $3,000 bond. He has steadily maintained his innocence.

Black called the charge a formality to bring closure to the case, adding that Limbaugh has been drug-free for 2 ½ years.

Remember folks, hillbilly heroin is for professional talkshow hosts only!..

BetterComix

2006-04-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

Because comics CAN be better via the miracle of cut-n-paste, it's BetterComix! Jason Beattie takes the days comic page, cuts em up and re-arranges them into better comics. Some funny stuff there, but forget that! here's what we need! cops -- and guns!*

(*May make sense after viewing the link)

OhNoRobot! Web comic search engine!

2006-04-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you want to be able to search a comic for a bit of dialogue you remember or for a specific setting or topic – unfortunately search engines can only read and index text, and cant recognize words within an image. This means that searching for a web-comic based on the words that make up the script is impossible.

OhNoRobot is a web-comic transcript search tool – It can’t read the contents of an image, but it lets you set up a system to get your webcomics transcribed into search friendly text. I’ve transcribed a few strips so far, but any help would be greatly appreciated.

How does it work? Any strip that is not yet transcribed has a “transcribe this comic” button at the bottom of the page that looks like this. Just press it to open the transcription window and copy the words from the comic into that window.. Don’t worry too much about formatting, I’ll do that before I post the transcription.

I’ve also added a ‘random comic’ button to the bottom of the comic viewer page to bring up one of the previously transcribed comics randomly! Ker-Pow!

Girl Genius Online!

2006-04-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

Well Howdy-doo! I just found out that Phil & Kaja Foglio have a webcomic at girlgeniusonline.com.. I remember some of Phil Foglio's comics from the eighties, I've got a copy of Buck Godot - Zap gun for hire, but I havent kept up to date on whats happening in the foglio world.

I just found girl genius, and I look forward to sitting down and reading the archives when I've got the time. I don't usually have the patience for serial web-comics, but based on past material I'll definately be giving this one a chance.

Don't shoot the puppy!

2006-03-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

A fiendishly difficult flash game - The only way to win is to do nothing at all.

Don't touch the keyboard.
Don't touch the mouse.

Whatever you do...
DONT SHOOT THE PUPPY!

Site navigation refinements

2006-03-27T09:16:00.000-08:00

I've just started re-organizing popealien.com a bit, hopefully this will make it a bit easier to navigate, and most importantly it means stuff will stay at the right URL for linking, etc..

So far I've updated the comics pages. This means that the comics are now located at a simple link in the following format:

http://popealien.com/comic/123

hoo-ray for technicological advances!

Whats wrong lil' feller?

2006-03-20T13:10:00.000-08:00

Are you emo?

Are you emo enough?

Do you stand in the rain looking out at the sea letting your salty tears mingle with the wet ocean air? Do you cry yourself to sleep? Do you cry others to sleep? Do you understand Morrisey? Does Morrisey understand you? What about frogs? Are you still trying to make sense of this? Why?

New Animal Resembling Furry Lobster Found!

2006-03-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

Whoa! This is a strange looking critter.

A team of American-led divers has discovered a new crustacean in the South Pacific that resembles a lobster and is covered with what looks like silky, blond fur, French researchers said Tuesday.

Yahoo News Story here